Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
