what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
