Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
