just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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