If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize