it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize