That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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