Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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