Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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