watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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