Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
