in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
