no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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