There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
