I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
