Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
