Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
