we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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