So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I love you. Go after that dick
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
