If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
