In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
