I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Is it because I queefed?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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