never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
