i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
