who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
