I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
