we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
