Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
