i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
