so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
