he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize