Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
