There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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