she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
