Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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