I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize