I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
