dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
