I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
40s are totally the cure
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
