you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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