i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
