I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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