is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
