did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Non-Jews are for practice
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
