So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
