if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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