Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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