i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
