I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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