don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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