Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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