Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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