Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Randomize
