I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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