I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
