Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
