Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Someone shattered a urinal.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
