This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
