do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
