he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
