I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
